The new pope is such a nice guy. He conducts his business in the spare bedroom of my friend Kristy’s apartment. Her husband isn’t home yet but I’ve met their daughter, though I had a hard time making friends because my mouthguard was still in. I’m here to tell Kristy about an attempted assault at […]
Tag Archives: dreams
One of those annoying dream posts
It was late at night and I was working in some office. I went across to the ladies room, pushed the door open, and thought, “It’s late and no one’s around. If I scream no one will hear me.” So I checked the stalls. First one, empty. Second one, empty. Third one, a guy was […]
Could everything stop being a metaphor for just five minutes?
Exhibit 13-B. Exhibit A. Clamshell packaging on cheap electronics. Exhibit B. Filling the humidifier while it’s raining outside. Exhibit C. Traffic on Elston. Exhibit D. A messy house. Exhibit F. The empty laundry basket that’s been sitting in the same spot for a week. Exhibit I. The sky, right at this moment. Exhibit K. That […]
Whilst the Royal Wedding Unfolded
Trina, Wendy and I are headed to Trina’s mom’s for the weekend. Trina calls her and she gives the answers they rehearsed. Trina: “Oh man, I can’t believe finals.” Trina’s mom: “Hera sees all.” Trina: “Yeah, and I have to store my stuff ’til Fall.” Trina’s mom: “Wisdom of Zeus, blind love will fall.” Trina: […]